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Offensive/Dirty Jokes *Warning*

This is a discussion on Offensive/Dirty Jokes *Warning* within the Forum Games forum, part of the General Chit-Chat; so I haven't seen anything like this, and I'm not even sure if it is something the admin's are gonna ...

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    Offensive/Dirty Jokes *Warning*

    so I haven't seen anything like this, and I'm not even sure if it is something the admin's are gonna keep active here, but I'm starting this thread so we can share some good old fashioned offensive and/or dirty jokes. i think this'd be fun... Also, if you're easily offended, or don't like this humor, please stop reading and leave this thread. This is for offensive/dirty jokes, not for offended people to bash others for liking these kinds of things.

    anyway, i'll start it off.

    "A husband and wife have been married for a little over 20 years. One day the wife founds out that the husband has been using a dildo on her the entire time they've been married. That night the wife confronts her husband, screaming at him "Explain the dildo, prick!" to which the husband immediately replies "Explain the kids, bitch!"

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    I give this under 23 hours 54 minutes before this thread is closed.


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    Quote Originally Posted by ChrisValentine View Post
    I give this under 23 hours 54 minutes before this thread is closed.

    that was super offensive, lol jk. probably true though

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    Billy and Sally are playing in the sand lot. Billy is 5 and so is Sally. one day Billy picks up his shirt and points to his nipples and says to Sally "look, i have two of these" and points to his nipples. Sally picks up her shirt, so does she! bill pulls down his pants and points to his but and says "well, I have one of these" (his ass). So does Sally. Billy not to beout done says "well, I have one of these' and pulls down his pants and points to his penis. Sally pulls down hers and well, no penis! Sally goes home all upset and has a little talk with her mother.
    The next day in the sand box Billy and Sally are back. Bily says, "look, I have two nipples." so does Sally. Billy says "look, i have a but." so does Sally. Billy knows he has her beat and says "well, look here, I still have one of these" (pointing to his penis)! Sally pulls downher pants and says, "well my mommy says with one of these I can get as many of those that I want!

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    Why did the chicken cross the road?

    To get to the other side.



    It's offensive because chickens are getting real sick of this stereotype bullshit.
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    Here's a few from a recent /r/AskReddit thread:

    Just a quick disclaimer: some people might consider these extremely offensive. If you can't take dark humour don't read on.

    "My girlfriend is into some really strange roleplay when we have sex. She always insists on pretending to be 14 years old.
    I don't get why, she'll be 14 in a couple of years anyway."

    "Woman delivers baby. Doctor takes the baby, and throws it, smashing around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. Mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging "WHYYYY!!??". Doctor holds baby upside down by the ankle and says "I'm just fucking with you, it was born dead"."

    "A beautiful woman is standing on a bridge, looking over the side and thinking about jumping off.
    A homeless man walks up to her.
    She sees the man coming and says, "Go away! There's nothing you can say to change my mind!"
    He says, "Well, if you're going to kill yourself anyway, why don't we have sex? At least I'll enjoy it."
    "Absolutely not! You're disgusting!", she replies.
    The man turns and starts walking away.
    "Is that all you're going to say? You're not going to try to convince me that life is worth living? Where are you going?"
    "I have to make it down to the bottom. If I hurry, you'll still be warm!", he says."

    "Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is."

    "A friend told me 2/3 people live next to a pedophile. "Not me," I replied, "I live next to 2 smokin' hot ten-year olds"."

    "Why don't you see black people on cruises?
    Because they're not falling for that one again."

    You wanted offensive jokes you got offensive jokes. I have loads more by the way.

    I may or may not get banned for this. Sorry not sorry
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    What's grosser than gross?

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    Okay, in line with the sick shit. I don't know if this counts as anything, but a dude told me this joke once...
    _____________________________________________________________________________

    "What's the best part about having sex with a 9-year-old girl?"

    "Flip her over, and you've got a 9-year-old boy"

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    How do you know your sister has started her period?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Asatruar777 View Post
    Okay, in line with the sick shit. I don't know if this counts as anything, but a dude told me this joke once...
    _____________________________________________________________________________

    "What's the best part about having sex with a 9-year-old girl?"

    "Flip her over, and you've got a 9-year-old boy"

    that one is probably in the top 3 most offensive jokes i have ever heard, and i have heard a million (exaggeration, but still)... props to you man!

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    i got a reeeeeeeeeally reeeeeeeeally offensive one... this one is possibly the most offensive joke you will ever hear, or the most offensive joke you have heard in a long time. it works better when actually spoken, not read, but hopefully its still good. please open the spoiler bar and read on at your own discretion

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    What's the best part about showering with a 12 year old girl?

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    Welp. Time to revive this shiz.

    What's the piece of meat around the vagina that no man wants?

    Toggle Spoiler



    What do you use to help a paki who's drowning?

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    Why can't you play Uno with a mexican?

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    Why is there cotton in pill bottles?

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    Why don't black people celebrate thanksgiving?

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    How did feminism begin?

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    How can you tell a black person has been on your computer?

    Toggle Spoiler



    What's faster than a black man with a TV?

    Toggle Spoiler



    Why don't black people like Country music?

    Toggle Spoiler



    What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?

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    PSA: don't get butthurt.

    - I was walking down the street when I saw a black man carrying a TV, and thought to myself "Wait, is that mine?!". So I ran back home, relieved to see mine was still there, working in my cotton field.

    - What do a black man and a sperm have in common? Both have a one in a million chance of becoming a human being.

    - What do you call a five year old with no friends? A sandy hook survivor.

    - What's the worst thing about breaking up with a Japanese girl? You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets the message.

    - What's got 5 arms, 3 legs and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.

    - How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her? She found another woman's lipstick on his knuckles.

    - How can you tell if your wife is dead? The sex is the same but the dishes start piling up.

    - Most black 15 year-olds in this country are decent, law abiding citizens. It's their kids who cause all the trouble.

    - How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Don't be stupid, feminists can't change anything.

    - How do you kill a redneck? Wait 'till he fucks his sister then cut the brakes on his house.

    - What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing you already done told her twice.

    - Why do Jews have big noses? Because air is free.

    - How do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her up like an altarboy.

    - What's 9 inches long, pink, and makes my girlfriend scream when I put it in her mouth? Her miscarriage.

    - What's difference between dollars and Jews? I'd give a shit if I lost 6 million dollars.

    - What's a word that white people can call white people, but black people can't call black people? Dad.

    - What's the difference between Paul Walker and a computer? I give a fuck when my computer crashes.
    Money, females and clothes: all an african american knows

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    I was up on intensive care recently and you're only allowed to have immediate family visit you, unfortunately for the indians that still counts as bringing half your living room.

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    Quote Originally Posted by General_Teddie View Post
    I was up on intensive care recently and you're only allowed to have immediate family visit you, unfortunately for the indians that still counts as bringing half your living room.
    I find this offensive...because I don't understand it.


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