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So, I'm writing a book...

This is a discussion on So, I'm writing a book... within the General Chit-Chat forum, part of the Off Topic Chat; Originally Posted by Digitalman123 I like your premise, but here are some things to keep in mind: -Explain thoroughly how ...

  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by Digitalman123 View Post
    I like your premise, but here are some things to keep in mind:
    -Explain thoroughly how the heck vampires popped up
    -Have a Prologue maybe in a board meeting where some big rich people discuss the plan, then switch perspective to a vampire you think the story would revolve best around
    -If push comes to shove, alternate reality could come into play, maybe a "what-if" of sorts, know what I mean? Maybe if this act had happened, we get radiation in someone's blood making vampire king that spreads.
    -Start very mysterious, then lay it all on us
    -Explain the "Wulven"s' intentions. Are they protecting or are they on the offensive?
    -Explain why Jupiter can finally be boarded and colonized, and why there
    -Please please please no "chosen one" so and so. It could turn your great idea into a cliche mess
    -Before you begin writing, plan this all out in your head. Unless you flesh out the vampire unable to show themselves part and overall intentions for all factions this has the potential to be a short story, maybe a novella. Entice us by turning this into a long yarn.

    Turn this "fan fiction" as Mayus puts it and really put a spin on it that'll make our heads turn. I like the idea.
    Thanks, yes don't worry, no chosen one! In my notes I've got most of the reasoning behind the vampires etc down, you don't want me to share it do you? (would take an age to write out)

    Quote Originally Posted by JackAttack View Post
    If you want to make these vampires as human as possible, then why not just use humans? You literally just told me, as a reader, that the vampires are being forced into the novel. You're even backing this up by saying that they're not going to be battling people or sucking their blood, but they're instead going to be involved in more of a political battle.

    Additionally, one of my biggest pet peeves in all of writing is when someone writes as if they know what they're talking about, and then doesn't. It's why I hate when sci-fi's are written by people with no knowledge of science, or court room dramas are written by people who were never even involved in a court of law. You're telling me (and I'm paraphrasing here, so don't get butthurt because I'm not using your words lol) that you're going to make Jupiter habitable, because y'know, it's a gas planet so we can't see all of it. To that I say bullshit. Literally go look up Jupiter on Google, because it's an insult to scientists to say that we don't know much about the planet. Please, please, PLEASE, do your research on stuff before you write about it. As much as you think you know what you're talking about, and as 'creative' as this type of writing is, everyone will still think your book is absurd if you don't know what you're talking about.

    Now, I'm probably coming off as really harsh here, but there's things you have to realize with writing.

    1) You need to learn to take criticism. There's nothing wrong with defending your ideas (as you have within this thread) but that doesn't mean you can be oblivious to critiques, especially when multiple people are bringing up the same problems. That means that you should look into fixing things. It's easier to be stubborn, but you generally end up with a better project if you listen to what the public sees as wrong.

    2) Along with #1, if you want to have a shot at writing, you're going to HAVE to go through people hating on your work, being denied by publishers, etc. Think of this thread as a mini-lesson for that.

    Just make sure you LISTEN and take in what we're saying; especially since you asked for us to critique it.
    First off I really want to apologise. By your comment I'm guessing I sounded like I was rejecting all advice and sticking to what I initially said? If that is true then I'm sorry because that is totally not my intention. I've been listening to what everybody has been saying and have changed some notes e.g it's no longer Jupiter. It appears I have reacted badly to criticism, once again totally not my intention. I welcome the criticism, it helps me to better my book after all. My replies have probably given off the wrong message. I'm not trying to defend my 'mistakes' but just explain why they were initially there. I apologise if it appears I have reacted badly to everybodys criticism, I honestly didn't mean to.

    Also, you most definitely are not being harsh. This is the roughest of ideas so if nobody was criticising it, then I would be very worried. So long as your advice is honest, I am totally fine with it, no matter how harsh.

    As for research, I totally know what you mean. I understand the incredible importance for it. My story sounds ridiculous at the moment because I've done no research. Literally all I have done so far is spend a few hours writing sparse notes in a little book, ideas for the book. Once I can organise those notes, then I will start researching etc. My story so far is most definitely not to be taken seriously, just a quick draft.

    It's very interesting you mention the 'forced vampires'. I believe that if I could hand you my notebook then you would understand their inclusion. But as the writer himself has led you to believe that they're shoehorned in then I will most definitely look into that. I may change their role, or I may just exclude them completely.

    Quote Originally Posted by dr_mayus View Post
    Just to let you know, unless you are a well established writer don't write for 2 books. If no one likes the first one then you are left on a cliff hanger and then your book doesn't work. Films like Star Wars and The Matrix for example tied up the story but left it open for sequels if need be.

    Anyways don't let people discourage you, but also understand that people can give advice as well. If nothing else it is always good practice to get anything down on paper. Good luck with the writing and if you want to add the lesbian scene you will at least have one sale in Kid_Loser
    It appears you were under the impression I was reacting badly to the criticism. I apologise for misleading you. Yes if my book is likely to be split into 2 seperate parts (which I'm not even totally sure it will) then I will definitely look to finish the 1st with an opening for the 'sequel' that would be logical. Thanks and maybe I'll just turn it into a book about lesbian vampire slayers!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Digitalman123 View Post
    100% agree with Jack.
    Half of the great ideas out there started as one thing, then veered into a whole other direction. Take what we're saying and use it. If vampires are being forced into the novel, then don't. Let it come naturally. Take a simple idea and build off that. Take an idea, make it very basic, because maybe you'll get to the point where you thought it could be longer when it's really too short. Start basic and build. It doesn't matter whether or not that includes entirely dismantling it. Like Jack up there said, be sure to research topics before you start magical rainbow fantasies about them. Jupiter is gas. Gas equals not habitable.
    Like Jack said, you asked us to critique it, we did just that. We're only trying to help you make this better (better mention us if this gets published). Stop defending and commence absorbing
    Hey, I personally feel the inclusion of the vampires is fine but I'll definitely look into changing that. Also I agree on the research, I have to do it but I've only written a few scrap notes in a notebook, so there's no need yet as my story has barely started. Once again I never realised I was defending, just explaining, I was taking in your advice and changing my notebook so please keep advising


  2. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by Brohgrick Talonteeth View Post
    Hi, the reason I initially chose Jupiter is's big Well actually that's not really true; I chose it 1. The story is 300 years in the future and by my reasoning, planets close to Earth, ala Mars, would already have been 'invaded', and the resources used up. Jupiter is a gigantic planet much further away. 2. As it's a gas planet, we as humans can't exactly look into it much. All we see is gas, but what if that gas concealed something very small that overtime led to the planet changing, for sinister reasons? Anyway I see Jupiter is a very unpopular planet so that will definitely be changed in my notebook

    Thankyou, yes this is only a first draft blurb and so is very vague. Lots of eventual details are missing.
    Also, the role of vampires is what the entire story revolves around. Without them the story is 'meh' and a lot of the key parts within the book rely on the 'special' abilities of what vampires/their enemies can do. If I wrote out my entire note book I can assure you you understand As the war between the humans rages on, the vampires spice things up a lot, leading to some pretty interesting results.

    Yes, much like what I said to the quote above, this is only a very simple summary. The vampires are an absolute necessity for much of the story toplay out as it does.
    Oh and I should have made it clearer really, this isn't a book about fighting and violence primarily, in the book I attempt to draw the reader in emotionally to the '3 Blood Brothers' and their seperate and yet intertwining tales. Violence and war is just present in the background, no too often at the fore. Also, the vampires never fight in space or anything ridiculous like that. My aim in the book is to show how whilst the vampires may appear different, they're not so different to the selfish and betraying humans. Don't expect loads of 1000 warrior battles, I keep 85% of the story on Earth, keeping the reader intact with the vampire's link to humans.

    I hope I answered your queries, not too sure. Just to clarify, this is not about epic battles and cool superpowers, it's much more 'emotional', for want of a better word. Emotional makes it sound like luvvy duvvy crap but that's not what I'm trying to say, I want to get across in the final book that the vampires risk what is closest to them in order to save the humans.

    Thanks to everybody who I haven't quoted above aswell, it's awesome to read your opinions Hope I managed to get my message across!
    Those answered/accepteable for me so not to repeat their questioning . I like the idea.. just hope it doesn't turn out too corn balled as other sci fi stuff now adays is. Question.. do you have like a brief chapter/few paragraphs or anything just to see your writing style and flow for part of the story OR just got ideas atm?

    I am interested i reading this so as you make progress, get some copyrights and let us see . I've done short stories and such myself and love reading/writing so any questions, just ask away. Very interested in seeing more of this .


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  3. #23
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    Looks great so far. I like the little blurb given it gave a great intro into the story Keep up the great work.

  4. #24
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    I haven't read all the replies but the first thing that popped into my head was Jupiter's crushing gravity.

    The mass of a planet is not going to change by terraforming, so maybe consider a moon or man-built satellite of Jupiter instead.

    Man-built lends weight to the wealth aspect of your story and it could have a seedy under-city - the wealthy live in the canopy, the poor in the foundations.

    Or maybe just ditch the outer solar system altogether and colonise the Moon.

    Same story, more credible setting. Lesbian vampires in space...carry on.

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