Couldn't find the other thread so here goes.
PSA: don't get butthurt.
- I was walking down the street when I saw a black man carrying a TV, and thought to myself "Wait, is that mine?!". So I ran back home, relieved to see mine was still there, working in my cotton field.
- What do a black man and a sperm have in common? Both have a one in a million chance of becoming a human being.
- What do you call a five year old with no friends? A sandy hook survivor.
- What's the worst thing about breaking up with a Japanese girl? You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets the message.
- What's got 5 arms, 3 legs and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
- How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her? She found another woman's lipstick on his knuckles.
- How can you tell if your wife is dead? The sex is the same but the dishes start piling up.
- Most black 15 year-olds in this country are decent, law abiding citizens. It's their kids who cause all the trouble.
- How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Don't be stupid, feminists can't change anything.
- How do you kill a redneck? Wait 'till he fucks his sister then cut the brakes on his house.
- What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing you already done told her twice.
- Why do Jews have big noses? Because air is free.
- How do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her up like an altarboy.
- What's 9 inches long, pink, and makes my girlfriend scream when I put it in her mouth? Her miscarriage.
- What's difference between dollars and Jews? I'd give a shit if I lost 6 million dollars.
- What's a word that white people can call white people, but black people can't call black people? Dad.
- What's the difference between Paul Walker and a computer? I give a fuck when my computer crashes.