Here I will be playing Pokemon Leaf Green for whoever would like to read it (NAGFLAR, CURB, AND MAILMAN ;-))
SPOILERS ARE FUCKED, READ THROUGH THE BILLION REPLIES TO GET THE FULL STORY.
Unfortunately, I was unable (SEE: Didn't even think of this thread until Nag suggested it) to take screencaps until after the first Gym. So I will instead do a summary of the most boring part of the game.
At the start of the game, I was asked what to name our hero and his rival. I named my character wweh, and of course, I named the rival DICKS. Because who doesn't name their rival DICKS or FAG? Now that the game had officially started, I went to leave the town, only to be stopped by
SENILE HERMITProfessor Oak! The grass is magical and dangerous, he said, and I'll need a pokemon to be safe. "Well, why not?" I thought. Once we were inside his lab, I was greeted with some text, and DICKS bitching about him not being able to choose first. Fuck him. I immediately went to choose Squirtle. (Not after checking them all to remember where he was though) Once I chose Squirtle, I proceeded to name him after myself, because I'm arrogant like that. :P
DICKS now rushed to get his pokemon, and he chose Bulbasaur of course, proving himself to be a DICK like he was named after. Just as I decided to leave and start my journey, the little fuck decides to challenge me to a battle. If we were any level past 5, this would have been very unfair, but thankfully that wasn't the case. I proceeded to wreck DICKS's shit, while he was moronically attempting to use Growl for reasons that are unclear to all except DICKS himself, and all of this amidst our Professor's ramblings.
After our rival being a sore loser, I went to grind Kankri (Squirtle) to level 10. This ended up with me dying quite a few times, as I refuse to use potions, always thinking I'll need them later.
After twenty minutes of grinding and dying, I felt it was time to move on. Off to the Pokemart in Viridian City (Why it's called a city is beyond me.) where the clerk asks me to take a Parcel to Professor Oak. Well alright. Delivering the Parcel was unventful, and once I got to Oak's Lab, DICKS arrived and we both got a Pokedex and five pokeballs. The Professor sure is a nice guy. Here I got an idea, why not get Charmander? Now I started up a second copy of LeafGreen and got to the same exact point in the game with Charmander instead of Squirtle. I named this awesome dude Nagflar. :P Getting to this point was a lot quicker this time, thanks to the handy speed-up feature. ;) Now both at the same point, I went upstairs in the Viridian City Pokemon Center and went into the Link Room. I now proceeded to trade a shitty Rattata for that wonderful Charmander. Little did I know this would bite me in the ass later.
At this point, I now had three pokemon: Squirtle, Pidgey, and Charmander. In order, they were named Kankri, Mailman, and Nagflar. They were level 10, 7, and 5. Now it was time to grind! First I got Kankri to level 13, and then got Mailman to 10, while Nagflar only got boosted up to level 7 to learn Ember. Now I moved onto Viridian Forest, where Mailman and Nagflar would be able to level fast. First thing was to grind up Mailman to 15. This took around 50 battles, where I first used Gust until it ran out of PP, and then I used Quick Attack until I ran out. Next up was Nagflar. Ember made short work of the bug pokemon here, so I rocketed up the levels. Nothing very eventful except for two things. First, PIKACHUU OMGGGGGGGG!!!!! I encountered a Pikachu and I caught him quickly. I was scared because he was level 3, and Nagflar was at level 13, so any attack would have killed him instantly. Luckily, I caught him at full health with the first pokeball thrown. The next thing is that I managed to get Nagflar to level 16, meaning he evolved into Charmeleon! My work here was now complete, so I fought my way through these lame-ass Bug Catcher trainers, all the way to the exit. On the way, the unfortunate part began. I obtained Nagflar in a trade, so according to the rules of the game, he won't obey me unless I had the right Gym Badge corresponding to his level. This means for the most part that Nagflar acted like a complete douchebag in every fight, ignoring my orders most of the time.
Once I exited the forest, I was now in Pewter City, where I headed off instantly to the Gym to fight Brock. But before I could fight him, I had to fight the dumbest kid in the game. Lightyear Kid, or Camper Liam if you want his real name. "You're still light-years away from facing Brock!" Good one. I proceeded to defeat him in what felt like less than a minute with Kankri and his Bubble technique. Super effective! Next was the fight with Brock, and I believe I only got hit once during the fight. Once I beat his first pokemon, Kankri leveled up and learned Water Gun, making the fight with Onix even easier! After that I got the running shoes at the edge of town and *COUGH*cheated*COUGH* to get Larvitar and Dratini early, so I could have a full team :-(
Now we're all caught up!
The road to Mt. Moon, and CMN
My team just after that huge wall of text.
Doesn't hurt to be prepared
Damn right it is!
YOU LITTLE SHIT
Cry more bitchboy
What the fuck is wrong with you
Time to prove you're not a useless piece of shit, Schism
CAN'T MOVE NOW
Yesss... Get rid of that useless shit
Dream battle! Whateverthefuckitis Vs. Whateverthefuckitis (Rat?)
Oh my god Curb you are the most useless piece of shit
Every low-level Pokemon Battle ever
You make it sound so simple (:
This guy is the second or third person to say this to me.
Welcome to the Bug Catcher Hivemind
Oh nooo! Can our little Schism survive? Let's find out.
OBVIOUS HARDEN JOKE (:
Holy shit, Schism lived!!
Skipping ahead just a bit....
Now we're at the Pokemon Center just before Mt. Moon.
ARE YOU ALL READY FOR THE DEAL OF A LIFETIME?
It's the PERFECT NAME
Mt. Moon, Karate fags, and the second Gym battle.
We've finally arrived. I wonder what kinds of wonderful people we'll find here!
Suspicious men? You're just paranoid.
ANOTHER obvious Harden joke. :-)
Good job Mailman, you've ruined this Bug Catcher's life
What even is this currency
Eat Squirtle squirt!
Look at him, he looks ready to ruin someones shit
And they just let them live here in caves, where they can swarm people with their uselessness
Good job getting lost in a cave!
Great clothes to be wearing in a cave!!
You were staring at me as I walked near you!
Twenty random encounters later, I NOW HAVE TO CATCH THIS.
Mailman is a grownup now ;_;7
I think I found the suspicious man
Another Super Fag
THE TIME HAS COME AND SO HAVE I
No I want both
Hell yes, now I can have a full team of assholes.
A new city, time to explore and then grind to get ready for the Gym
Curse those Pokemon Gangsters!
What the hell, I'm only ten years old!
After three hours and a few minutes of grinding, I felt like my team was ready for the Gym.
Wow, this is the worst Gym yet!
My policy is that you're about to be FUCKED
How does that even work?
Schism is finally old enough to drink!
Or not. RIP Schism, your sacrifice was appreciated.
No more attitude from Nagflar!
Six Gyms to go, next up is Lt. Surge in Vermilion City
Fighting DICKS, Nugget Bridge, Bill's House, and arriving at Vermilion City
After healing up at the Pokemon Center, we find ourselves here.
Well if it isn't our good friend DICKS!
I WILL SHIT ON YOU
Wrong choice, DICKS
Too easy when DICKS kept telling him to use Teleport.
I know what to do!
Hah! You better have Burn Heal.
Take that, DICKS!
Healing up first, and then heading off to see Bill, the man who will do whatever it takes to get rare Pokemon.
I now have to fight five trainers in a row to win a fabulous prize!
You're finally not a piece of shit!
Because you use Bellsprout
Yes, make Eburk obsolete.
RIP that poor Mankey, up against 30 kg of pure terror
Oh hell yes, I've always dreamed of being a 'GANG-STAR'
Wait, you weren't even wearing those clothes!
NOT YOU AGAIN
Seven minutes of searching the grass to the left of the bridge later, I finally find:
You are going to make the BEST Alakazam
Also, from now on I'm going to display the Pokedex data from the ones I catch.
I now head to Bill's House, which is directly right from where I am. Getting there won't be simple though, as I'll have to fight quite a few trainers!
Are all Hikers going to be creepy?
I warned you about Zubats bro!
Damn it, if only I could steal peoples Pokemon. :(
Inside he is crying tears of rage
I defeated his KNob
That feel when no gf
How about you fuck off, it took me a while to find that Bushpig!
A talking pokemon, just like the anime!
Time to head to the next city, and the next Gym as well!
I dunno, it could be that police corruption that seems to be rampant in this region...
Okay, I'm blaming this on the Hiker instead.
Curse those Hikers!
Dude yes, please don't attack me.
Too late now
to oil u- Damn it Nagflar...
I never understood the purpose of this place
Skipping past a few boring battles, the only interesting one being a battle against a Bug Catch with a Butterfree, I've now arrived at Vermilion City.
Episode 4: Grinding, Alakazam, and the S.S. Anne
Oh no! We need to grind some levels and catch some pokemon! Before that though, we need to grind Broken up to a decent level.
Dirty Old Hobo Hugo would like to battle!
It's funny because he evolves into the Rapist pokemon
My reaction at the end of every battle with a Youngster.
Six levels later.
I now proceed to trade to myself to make Broken evolve into Alakazam!
Sorry Schism, but you just got REPLACED
I don't even REMEMBER this kind of trainer from when I played this game last year.
Fuck you I would if I could.
You wouldn't, by any chance, be related to DICKS now, would you?
Well you certainly won't win now.
Being NPC is suffering
I always felt this was the dumbest part of the game. Stupid magical flute.
Now it's time to grind even more, in preparation of the S.S. Anne and Lt. Surge.
Time to take on the S.S. Anne
Nice song at first, but it gets very annoying after a few minutes of it on repeat.
What is WITH these people and pokemon battles?
Poor Growlithe's brain was destroyed by Psionic force
Why can't you be good like Broken, Schism?
Even the NPCs hate Snorlax
549 more kinds, with even more on the way
Nagflar is no longer the highest leveled on my team.
Only if I get to scrub decks like that other guy.
Look who's back again.
I wonder if I can solo him with Broken? Worth a shot
Die in a fire
One hit KO, that's one down!
One hit KO, that's two down. Two left to go.
Time to end this
DICKS is in shock.
It's even gayer when you realize that it's an old man.
Time to find a useless piece of shit that can use cut.
One of the few times I'll ever use JackAttack
That isn't how you use a disc!
Episode 5: Just to piss DaRe off
If you say so. MINI-UPDATE TIME
Can't wait to grind here later.
This will be useful later.
Back where we started to....
...catch this guy!
Episode 6: I wonder if I can beat this game before Nag finishes FF2
We last left off with me being near Viridian City, where I went to capture DaRe. Now it's time to fight Lt. Surge for real this time!
Not before exploring a bit, of course.
Might have to go catch another Abra later.
Back to the cave!
Found him on my second encounter, and caught him on the fiftieth pokeball
He looks so angry
Out of the cave!
After getting JP from the Pokecenter, JackAttack found gold for me!
Then I noticed I forgot to heal up
The time is now.
Only old men allowed, it seems
Wow fuck you
Does everyone have a Pikachu now?
This alone made this the worst gym so far. Randomized locks that reset position whenever you screw up!
This really is an Old Men's Club
Abusing people with pokemon, and now threatening the same to me, good choice of Gym Leader.
Dig is such a wonderful move
AGAIN WITH THE PIKACHU
Let's hope for a 1 Hit KO
Fuck you and your Gym.
Time to never go to this city again
Episode 7: People of all ages hate the Dentist
Admittedly, I always get lost and it takes me a bit to remember what to do in this part of the game.
One thing left to do in this shithole
Oh please god no...
Wow, so he basically gave me a coupon worth 1,000,000 Communist Pokedollars
Well, now that you mention it, I had to go there anyway
AGAIN WITH THE PIKACHUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
Back into the scary tunnel we go.
Back in Cerulean City. Nice song
Probably my favorite in the whole game.
I am now one of the richest people in the Pokeworld
Is it bad that I didn't notice the joke until now?
Stop hitting on a 10 year old
Still the best
Is every Hiker about rape time?
So Luckay is a rapist Hiker..
Time for the cave, and unfortunately more Hikers :(
Yes, JackAttack, flash the cave!
Oh FUCK NO
If you say so
Oh god, it's a freak.
Episode 8: Fuck Zubat
Now it's time to finish the fight. 2008.
Time to Mega Punch this douche.
Forgot to screencap him using Ember, but yeah.
Mega Punch is officially the biggest piece of shit.
I HAVE HAD IT WITH THESE MOTHERFUCKING ZUBATS IN THIS MOTHERFUCKING CAVE
Sorry, I had to. :(
Also, from now on I'm going to keep a Zubat count for the rest of the game.
Zubat count: 2
Zubat count: 6
Zubat count: 9
Zubat count: 12
Zubat count: 16
Zubat count: 20
Zubat count: 31
Zubat count: 38
Zubat count: 50
Oh great, another one of these guys.
Zubat count: 57
I want a Slowpoke :(
Sorry Nagflar, I grinded too much and you'd disobey me if you got another level.
No because cosplaying a pokemon means you're crazy
Oh... oh god...
Well at least we got something positive from this trip
Oh hey, it's Bubba
Do you see any twigs in this cave?
Zubat count: 62
Be careful of Hikers
Total Zubat count for this cave: 65
Hey kid... Come into my van... I have a Pikachu...
We're now at the part where I mute the game for a bit.
Song was creepy as hell in the original.
Episode 9: Ghosts × Women × Nagflar
We last left off in creepy Lavender Town, apparently the third largest town in population. You sure can't tell from the game what with three houses, and the typical Pokemart and Pokecenter.
Nope, getting the fuck out of here.
Forgot to show Blastoise's Pokedex entry, so here it is
We'll see about that.
Muk backwards... he he he
So much for needing strategy
Finally, a Double Battle!
Can someone say 'Hoverhand'?
God damned Pikachu
I TOLD you about police corruption!
I'm quite fond of JackAttack too
Mailman and DaRe are fine I guess
So I guess this is the weirdo patrol?
You say this when you have an evolved Nidoran in your team
Well hey, at least it isn't children's card games on motorcycles, right?
Time for a gym that is thankfully better than the last one.
Cool, another one
Now THIS is what I call a city, it's gigantic!
Here is the whole city, just for reference: http://puu.sh/2r2OQ/c2c734035f
Fuck yes, a casino. Can't wait to gamble all of my Communist Pokedollars away for a chance to win a Porygon.
The pokemon gangster in his natural habitat
Time to get down to business, we have a Gym to beat!
Nice touch that the usual dude isn't here.
A promise is a promise, Nagflar will now get a bunch of screentime
You get your screentime, and then do this to me!? ;_;
Two levels to go!
I predict it's cloudy with a chance of you GETTING OWNED
Wow, you talk more than Lt. Surge. That's an achievement.
Nagflar is one sassy bitch
No more acting like a little bitch, Nagflar
Time to go get Fly, catch a few pokemon, and then continue the story in the casino. Next time, of course.
Episode 10: Before you know it, you'll be in your Thirties. But hey, that's okay.
Well, we left off having finally beaten the fourth gym, and receiving the Rainbow Badge, which will make sure Nagflar will obey me until level 50!
Now we're going to gamble a LOT of catch, and maybe, just maybe get that Porygon. Also, happy easter!
First of all, we need to rest at the Pokecenter.
Not until I become the ultimate Pokemon Gangster
Before we can gamble...
....We let a middle-aged man teach a child how to gamble
Possibly homosexual? Must remember to investigate further.
Them damn Pokeformance-enhancing drugs
COCK STATUS: BLOCKED
Let's see what prizes they have
Possibly good, I'd need to save and check what they have
Well damn, Porygon isn't as expensive as I thought. I'll go gamble and get enough to afford him and Pinsir.
What a nice man
What tipped you off, the fact that there are Team Rocket members all over this city, or that they're selling Pokemon at the Prize Corner?
Everyone is giving me coins, I'm so happy!
Well fuck, it's called the ROCKET Game Corner
Time to GET THAT PORYGON!
Already doing great
Holy shit, again!
Fuck you! So... so close
I'll be back
The return of CallmeNasty
Time to get down to business
Zubat count: 66
It's a cave full of Zubats
Welcome to one of the worst parts of the game!
Episode 11: KUYASHII
We left off about to start the most annoying part of the game, spinny panels and zubats, oh boy!
Almost makes me wish I could go back to slots.
Okay, nevermind. Go back to the bottom of the team, Curb.
who PIGGYMEN here
Certainly not checking behind a solitary poster
Still not as cool as Team Magma.
Can someone say obvious plot device?
Zubat count: 67
Zubat count: 68
Time to get lost for an hour or so with these
Serious time, please vote in the thread for whether I should use this Moon Stone for a Wigglytuff or a Nidoking.
See what I mean!?
Holy shit YES
1,000+ Pokedollar potion just left lying around in the corner
You little bitch...
Back here again.
Oh yeah, I forgot to link the theme of this place. Enjoy the annoyance of this song.
Zubat count: 69
Time for a few more fights, and then we're out of here
Back here for what is hopefully the last time.
Can't wait to meet this guy, he totally won't have anything to do with the second game!
Oh wait, he's right here
Fuck your puzzles
Giorno Giovanna is my favorite JoJo
Guest appearance from Nagflar!
I am disappoint
10,000 Communist Pokedollars if anyone can point out what GBA Port this is from
Honestly, I'm more of a slave driver to my Piggymen
Blah blah blah, I suck. Blah blah blah, foreshadowing.
Guess we're going back to Spookytown
Episode 11.5: Promised screentime for Nagflar
Screentime, you say?
I suppose I'll break my rules once for a mini update
in my dream i am the boss. its me.
IS THAT ENOUGH SCREENTIME
Episode 12: It's like motherfucking Christmas up in here
Sadly JackAttack is starting to become a permanent resident of my party
Who gives a fuck, double battle time.
This fight was over before it began
Water Pulse is great.
A world where hopping a fence is physically impossible. This always bugged me when I played these games
Pokemon 5D's Decade Duels Plus
It's not even secret, it was in plain sight in the Bike Route!
No Nagflar! Not you too!
Time to make this happen
Oh, just look at that Charizard, kicking everyone's ass.
Congrats on the baby, Comp!
Might as well do every we can here.
You don't draw pixel art, dumpass
This happens to me every time I play the game.
Come back D1N
What can we do here in Saffron City, and will we ever go back to Lavender Town? Find out next update.
By the way, I should check my playtime an- oh god
Episode 12.22: You Can (Not) Catch 'Em All
Lots of stuff is blocked off in this city at first, but there is one neat thing we can do!
Yes, very useful.
Team Rocket, check. Gigantic building, check. Annoying puzzles confirmed?
I'll take that sweet flower over there instead
Time to go to Spookytown
Not as spooky as in the original game, but still 2SPOOKY
Pokemon don't die, silly! They just faint.
I ain't 'fraid of no ghosts
God DAMN it
Cue 'Gary's Raticate died' theory
This better be the last fucking time I fight you
I was a bit slow screencapping this.
Most useful Flying type attack ever
There's my screentime, bitch
(I forgot to screenshot the one-turn fight with his Kadabra, sorry)
He sure talks about smelling me a lot
Episode 13: Totally not an obvious filler episode
a new surprise from me. its an update. wow surprise.
Sure is foggy in here
Time to grind him up
Lame, time to trade him to get him to be
(started a new game on a different copy and proceeded to trade him)
And this is me trading them back
God damn that is creepy
We got a badass over here
Nope, can't stop until he's at 40
Two levels to go
Yay for semi-balanced team.
Holy crap, the return of Eburk!!!
Two levels until you evolve into an ugly piece of shit, little guy. </3
And then it didn't let him evolve. Time to replace him with something else
Because he's a shitty plant...thing
Painfully leveling ooga like this.
Zubat count: 71
Zubat count: 76
Zubat count: 78
Dick sucking lips.
Zubat count: 87
What am I creating?
Department store, time to evolve some shit
Time to get STONED... Sorry
I've created a fucking demon
Goodbye, Schism. Hello, DRGN1QUEEF.
This isn't a kids game anymore, I've created a team of god damned killers
I like that the discs are different colors.
Zubat count: 93
Congratulations, you are the 100th Zubat!
Zubat count: 117
Zubat count: 139 :stare
Zubat count: 150.....
Aaaand we're out of this awful place
And with this, my team is balanced!
DRGN1QUEEF and ooga are level 30, while Nagflar, Kankri, Ramon, and Broken are level 40.
And don't worry, I PROMISE we'll get done with the Tower already next update!
Episode 14: It's like motherfucking Kwaaahnzaa up in here
I actually think I've encountered more of these guys than Zubat
Stop making alts, luckay
Ok, fine. We'll do the stupid Tower.
Ghost types are so much fun, I always forget what they're weak against!
That is some quality AI
The spirit double-died
Happy late Kwaaahnzaa, ps3t.com
I'm not celebrating your fucking Kwaaahnzaa
Coolest punch in the game, and Super Effective too, it seems.
I can't think of anything witty, so just enjoy this dumb line.
Don't know if anyone has noticed by now, but if you've been paying attention, you'll notice that I've only been using regular pokeballs to catch pokemon.
This is because all the other pokeballs look pretty ugly, and I prefer to have them all look the same when I send them out in battle, or look at their stats. It's pretty dumb, but I pretty much always do it. One other thing to note is that I will only be breaking this rule in the Safari Zone, which requires you to use their own Safari Balls.
I hate it, but there is a pokemon I want on my team there.
It's like motherfucking Kwaaahnzaa up in here
Was it the ghost of Kwaaahnzaa Past?
Is there even a zombie pokemon? Jynx doesn't count
I am fucking rich
Fuck, really wish I could capture this.
Also, I haven't shown much of the dialogue in Lavender Town, but the story behind this is that Marowak died protecting its child Cubone from Team Rocket, who were trying to take its skull for profit.
Damn these pokemon gangsters.
I'm here to advance the plot
[i]Zubat count: 153
Zubat count: 154
Zubat cou- Wait, what?
A custom sprite, this guy must be important!
Zubat count: 156
Don't get any ideas, I just want to catch a Snorlax
"Blah blah blah I'm a huge tool"
Going to get me a fucking Snorlax
Episode 15: I get my kicks by harassing people with my stinking Pokemon
Time to get that Snorlax
Now, will he replace ooga or DRGN1QUEEF?
What the hell, got him on my second try.
I will give you the honor of naming you...
His one post was the greatest
Oh what a piece of shit
To never fight one of you guys again.
It's a Super Biker
This is the best Cue Ball in the game
Every person here uses the same pokemon, so I'm not going to show them all
New trainer type waiting to ambush me
Anyone remember the Lickitung mini-game in Pokemon Stadium? That one was pretty fun
I knew DRGN1QUEEF would be useful at some point
I need to get one of these guys
(I now entered Fuchsia City)
(Here's a map of the whole city http://puu.sh/2tpFH/9789458c31)
Slowpoke is so awesome
Bigger HP Sponge than Snorlax
just HOW HIGH do you even have to BE just to DO something like that...
Good thing I never bothered to pick it up
Well check again later for
The worst Gym!
Episode 16: MAGICIAN1NINJA
I did a bit of pre-Gym grinding, and:
HOLY FUCK A DITTO
This guy will be very important later
I'll show YOU strategy
Cool anime hair dude
Bushpig's Dad: the Pokemon.
He really is an anime
Why is everyone using Psychic types in a Poison type Gym?
A whip and a giant lollipop.
I'm here to avenge DRAGON1NINJA
Koga: I challenge you to Ultimate Ninja 02
What are you implying here?
Use Venomoth already!
This is his last pokemon, out of four, and he doesn't have a Venomoth!
Next game I guess
You were even easier than Erika
Am I onto something here?
Can anyone say Cinnabar Island tomorrow?
We gonna get that Chansey
Episode 17: People who say that Santa doesn't exist actually want to believe in him
I always wondered what would happen if you ran out of money and you still needed to advance the plot here, but I read that they just let you in for free but only give you one Safari Ball
Time to catch some motherfuckers
Because he's a... uh.. weird bug thing
I'm having the best luck with encounters so far
Who fucking cares, I just want you to be a Rhydon
I don't really know how to justify this one
So just shut it, Nagflar
People talk about bad pokemon designs now, just look at this fucker. HE IS JUST A BUNCH OF EGGS. IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY FUCKING SENSE AT ALL
It isn't mistaken for eggs, it IS eggs jesus fuck
Oh my god the broken egg has a face
About twenty minutes of searching
1% chance of appearing in this area! Not to mention their high chance of running away
More like frustration
You will never be the babazar
I left because I was almost out of steps at this point
Yep, One Post Guy is going to be the HM Slave
After a bit of walking, and me remembering the path for once. Oh, and I also picked up some Gold Teeth I'm required to give to a guy in town
You mean DICKS didn't beat me here for once?
Just give me Surf already
Almost looks like he's screaming in pain
He didn't wash them off or anything
One Post Guy finally has a use
Episode 18: All hail the eyepat
╔═════════════════ ೋღ☃ღೋ ════════════════╗
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Repost this if ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~ ~ you are a beautiful strong rhydon ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ who don’t need no man ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
╚═════════════════ ೋღ☃ღೋ ════════════════╝
Senile Hermit is probably going to disrespect my pokemon catching skills
Good job telling me which one, fucker
Am I ready to fight some Magikarp
Please don't tell me these guys are worse than the Hikers
One wonders how he got all six Magikarp to level 27 when they evolve into Gyarados at level 20.
At least this game isn't 50% ocean like RSE were.
Tentacool count: 11
Time to get a Koffing
He looks so happy
Episode 19: Curb will never be used again
I should mention I fucking hate this place
An idiot, that's who
Why don't these kids have to go to school?
Seriously fuck this place
This place is cool because it mentions a real world place
See? This confirms that Poke-Africa exists, and therefore verifies the existence of Kwaaahnzaa!!!
Awww shit a new trainer class
Do you think I'm stupid?
You'd be correct
Let's try that again
I'm actually Shrek
What kind of Gym Leader locks his Gym anyway?
The original games had Ponyta in here, which makes no damn sense.
I have failed to make Curb relevant in this game
Does this mean we can leave?
Time to put Kankri to use
The chance of a Burn happening is ridiculously low
FUCKING DICKS!!! How did he even get in when this place was locked?
Episode 20: Surf Ryu Sei Ken
But you have the bag and everything!
Almost back to being the highest leveled
This is my new favorite Water-type move
Me too pal
Also, I forgot to show that you have a choice between doing a quiz, or fighting a trainer. Of course, if you fail the quiz, you fight the trainer anyway.
They're questions a preschooler can answer
To lock his gym and force me to go through an old abandoned mansion so I could find the fucking key?
If it weren't for that bird, we could have had a good Gym leader
Going to beat all of his pokemon in one turn
Prepar 2 get ownded
Time to Surf
Oh shit, evenly leveled
He survived the first surf with only 1 HP left, and when I went to finish him off, he had a Hyper Potion used on him.
That was anticlimactic
Should I even bother to teach this to Nagflar?
Episode 21: Useless blue turd
When am I going to get a real challenge?
Oh yeah, you're the guy who sucks people off for rare pokemon
Sorry, I don't have any 'Rare' pokemon yet
Articuno One Island... Sure thing friend
Choice? In a pokemon game? This is most likely rigged
I literally have zero friends in this world
This means it goes fast!
Looks like a shithole
Oh boy, time to do some menial fetch quest to advance the plot that only really affects the post game
So what? Does he suck people off for computer parts?
That reminds me, I need to check my badge collection sometime soon
I skip some text and now you want me to do you a favor?
Oh man I actually read that as 'rare cocks and gems'
It's like a cult or something
Why do you have a meteorite in the first place
This means I can go to three islands!
Like the name Tri-Pass wasn't a big enough hint
I just can't be a dick to this little kid
Haha, fuck the story
Hah! You better have BURN HEAL!
What even is this guy
Why do these people complain when they're the ones who force me to fight them?
God damn it, I have a legendary to catch!
Okay, I'll allow this
Nagflar confirmed for being useless orange dorito
I went back to grind my pokemon, and aww shit a Slowpoke
You are going to be my best bro
Might as well get on with it
Oh god damn it, I forgot to pick up Strength when I lost a lot of progress ;_;
Well let's see what's going on here
Wow! It's fucking nothing
I am NOT looking for your kid
Can this get any worse?
Oh god no
Episode 22: Even though she was raised by gorillas, she's still a woman.
(After some bitching and four previous battles)
These guys are the worst
Yes, better end this quickly
Useless blue fruit snack
Praise the eyepat
How did they leave this island anyway?
Shrek will protect me
I'll show you my team of Piggymen
Oh no, they sent out the Chulo team
I wish all of my piggymen could know Surf
That's just mean
Fuck, you can just tell this is a rape forest
At least the tree sprites are unique
You can just tell they mean something else
Must be Kiwi
God damn it Kiwi, fuck off
Go find a Chulo
By never having to come here again
Fuck your cult
Episode 23: Why does Disney's Planes exist
I was sent out on a Chulo Fetch Quest
Strangely enough, the PC works on the other islands
Don't worry, we don't have to see this place again until we beat the pokemon league
I demand compensation
Bill is so passive aggressive
So much homoerotic subtext
Coming here to get the best pokemon
The return of JackAttack
Is that a giant gold nugget
Give it to me so I can take credit for the discovery
jk I'm going to sell it and get rich
Hello, do you know where the Poke-Pawn Shop is?
Say hello to your replacement, One Post Guy
Sounds like Coug alright
Oh fuck why
I WILL TURN YOU INTO THE GREATEST
Episode 24: Get shreked
Time for the actual worst part of the game
I haven't even seen a real Police Officer in this game
Zubat count: 157
Zubat count: 158
Zubat count: 159
Why is he just carrying around random chemicals
I've only been in the building for five minutes!
Now we can finish this place fast as hell
Oh god, please no
I hate you
Team Rocket? Team Rocket can suck on my balls
This doesn't even make sense. DICKS battles me the moment he sees me, why would he wait here?
Fully grown Mailman
Beaten with one pokemon, bitch
HIS NAME IS GIOVANNI
I hope it's not a Zubat
I don't know
Yay, it's the guy who talks a lot
I'll win this quick
You just lost to a pokemon holding a spoon
Episode 26: Terraria is eating my time
EPISODE 25 IS GONE FOREVER(?)
Fitting that this is the endgame area
Who could it be?
What the hell, DICKS. This gym has only been open for five minutes.
This is every battle in the Gym
Is the lollipop supposed to be a reward for pokemon he's taming?
I don't understand the point of a Ground type when there's a Rock type at the same time
Kwaaah! I'm working myself into the holiday spirit!
Oh damn, it's you again
If you're the greatest, why aren't you Elite Four or the Champion?
And that's why choosing Blastoise is the smartest choice
Sweet, I can grind Nag now
I'm a Pokemon Master now!
But wait... I'm a Pokemon Master now.. Why do I have to challenge them?
Episode 27: No updates, no hope
A surprise everyone wanted
Wow, thanks for the compliment
Oh... fuck you
Broken is still the best
He should have been a Rhydon three levels ago, what kind of trainer are you DICKS?
Nagflar being relevant for once? Unlikely
The Pokemon League and all they can afford is a shitty white fence?
Oh, well that's nice
Worst cave shared throughout every game time
Ok, I spent 30 minutes on this. I just don't know
ya bb grl ;-)
COOLTRAINER/10 would not fuck
Good job only using Fire-types
Episode 28: COOLTRAINERs fuck off
At least you haven't lost to a kid named DICKS
A BIT FURTHER ON
My honor is gone
If I was doing a nuzlocke, I'd cry right now. But I don't do Nuzlockes because I'm not a fag
Let's try this again
*After being prepared and kicking his ass*
A double-battle champion would be pretty cool, I liked the double-battle Gym in RSE
Wow fuck you
We're finally here!
Not before doing a ton of grinding, of course
Faust... is finally a man
We're finally ready to take on these fucks
Episode 29: Freezing moves are powerful
Seems simple enough
Let's hope the Elite Four actually use what types they say they will!
Ice-type is SHIT
Every Ice-type move has a 10% chance of freezing. Good luck with that
This is pretty cool
Wearing a skirt in a freezing room. Smart.
Attacked by a useless blue turd
Got lucky there
All that EXP
Her best pokemon goes down the fastest
He does NOT look like a downer pig with AIDS
"Freezing moves are powerful."
All of these fucks have that berry
OK, I lied. He is a downer pig with AIDS. Let's send out someone competent
Good job, competent pokemon
Ah, her own downer pig
Dumbest attack coming through
Oh god, it's Skordy!
Imagine the flame was a torrent of mexian
Now, count up your sins!
And yes, this is always the hardest battle
Episode 30: I feel bad for people who use Onix
That's generally how things are done
How do they all know my name
Why would anyone make this sound in real life
I'm sorry, 133.
Not really, actually
I hate berries
Doesn't restore too much, thankfully
Greatest kill in history
ant1 used Fabulous
Power of friendship or some shit
Who could it be?
Episode 31: More like the Elite Shit
Eeeeeewwwww old people
1v1 me fag ill reck u m8
I'm being copied!
So much for that
Reminds me: Zubat count: 184
This is why I hate the Elite Four
It's like they're getting progressively easier
The game doesn't allow you to run in buildings..
Episode 32: I am a POKéMON master
You automatically walk in this hallway
Looking pretty.... teal... in here
They're actually shit
That's some ANIME hair
I hate Gyarados
Rock and Flying is a fantastic combination
And there goes the shitty overgrown Curb
He's taken a bit of a beating
Another shitty overgrown Curb
Best move in the game?
Fuck you, Lance
Useless blue turd
Useless Peach Ring
I'm the master of piggymen
DON'T FUCKING SAY IT
Not for long, he isn't
Episode 33: Beat DICKS
For a twist, any piggyman who faints during this battle will be dead for good :-O
Well, it's time
I hate this little bitch so much
Funny considering I've never lost to you ever
And I assembled a team that will wreck your shit
"I must reveal that I'm a piece of shit"
How it happened is a mystery to me
It's yellow because he loves piss
A sign of how easy this is
I will destroy you, fucker
And the award of Worst Pokemon goes to Gyarados!
Who let this fuck become champion?
lol its a fluffy dog
Fuck him, with his Full Restores
And with this, we've shit on his dream of being the Champ
Feels good man
Cry more, bitch
Final: It begins to dawn on you that everything you just did may have been a colossal waste of time
You didn't treat them with LOVE and FRIENDSHIP. Those affect stat-gains the most.
It was nothing...
Hey now... even I'm not that mean
Makes you wonder who the real dick is
Yes, that is my name...
No, I'm pretty sure it was all me
I don't think I want to...
The mexian pokemon
Don't really know what to call this one
The downer pig with AIDS
You two are fine
It was fun
Hope everyone enjoyed this thread, I thank everyone who participated and made this thread fun for me